We have to face our demons and whatever face they present. And when that happens, you have to be honest with them because they really dont care how you jazz up your sh*@, they know exactly what it smells like and any lies you give them are really just denials to yourself.
I have an annoying habit of reading three or more alternative meanings to any statement presented to me. This is a hard habit to shake but stems from the fact that people don’t always mean what they say or say what they mean. It makes these demon sessions particularly difficult because even statements I issue aren’t exempt.
Lately I’ve been wondering what kind of leader I want to be because the older I get, the less likely I am from running away from that eventuality. In some way I’ve always led other people, mostly reluctantly, but it seems to be my lot in life and there are worse things to complain about so I won’t harp about it.
But in addressing my own journey I can’t help evaluate the leaders I am exposed to and what I can glean from them and it’s sadly a little disheartening.
I’m not a people person, by a long shot. I’d be content in a quiet corner and engage with people virtually. In person, there’s just too much to deal with. Body language and body odour not being the least of things but that’s not the point. I’m too critical of everything, no matter how positive I make myself.
Someone once told me that you should stay in a position as long as there is something you can learn from the people above you in it. They never addressed what was being learnt and I’m at a point in my life that I have to ask they ‘how’ and not only the ‘what’.
It’s not enough to have a kushy existence if you don’t feel it matters or worse, makes you feel like crap.
Among the number of things I have to address, is the direction of this blog. It will still exist but I need to figure out how. I really should have thought about that before starting but sometimes ‘the thinking’ stops ‘the doing’, and in my case that is very true but I need to proactively figure things out.
This is just a lil post to remind me, and you too, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes it’s because you screwed in the light bulb ages ago on your own. I know that’s not a great analogy but I want to strip life down to simple, truthful goals and strive for them.