by Claudie Muchindu
Thinking I could play, no manual in hand
I rolled my die and watched them land.
Honesty they proclaimed, no truths shall be hidden
Discretion, they whispered, no truths to be shared
Convinced I was of seeing what only the blind can affirm
I let my heart fly, not knowing if I had enough room to land.
It wasn’t a virgin journey, I know this path
I’ve walked it once before.
I cannot love in moderation.
Shy away not from my loose tongue,
I’ll spell the words I refuse to write
Love has impaled me and blood shall run its course.
I cannot sit in the shade of a seed,
Planted only yesterday.
I have waited for you before,
I’ll wait for you still
I imagined what I hoped I could hold
Hate cannot flow in your direction
For you have wronged me not
Keep it that way, silence may you give me.
Make me not the woman who wretches you from another,
I’ll demand not what I cannot even voice,
I know the game now
And the truth, my dear sadly is…
I still want to play.
A long time ago, in a land not so far away. I thought I could accept second place in a love game. It didn’t matter, I said to myself, as long as I was on the podium… Sadly, this was a lie I was telling. A tall tale about how “advanced” and “evolved” I was to not be a selfish lover. In a love game I need to own the podium and be first, second, third… heck, I need to be the only person in the race!
I can freely give love but I cannot share it.Sometimes life’s lessons show us how unevolved we are.
Over and Out!