Snuggle with a Struggle

 Struggle Snuggle Tee
Struggle Snuggle Tee


There are some things that exist and make you wonder how on earth they can occupy space when ATLEAST more than on person saw it before it was put on display in public spaces. I came across this video about a “rape t-shirt” being sold. Its tagline is, “It isn’t rape, its a snuggle with a struggle.” What the freakin’ hell were people thinking?!?!?! The link to the video I saw is here. I understand the t-shirts have since been pulled off the shelves but the principle still needs some evaluation.

Now, there are some sections of society that believe that the world is just “too damn sensitive” and needs to relax and their defence would be “this is a joke, if you don’t like it don’t buy the shirt”. The problem with that is, not buying this item doesn’t mean you prevent this kind of idea being OK and its the idea of this t-shirt being OK that is more of a problem than the t-shirt itself. The fact that rape can be both glorified as an achievement and belittled as an act should not be allowed to exist.

I normally shy away from absolutes because they leave little room for discussion but I fail to see how any rape situation could be proven to benefit the raped person. If you are able to support that view, by all means, let’s talk but we cannot belittle what rape is and glorify the person performing this violent act. Or maybe that’s the problem, we have negated the effects of different kinds of rape because it isn’t always a “clear” rape. We deconstruct what the victim was in order for us to guage how bad the rape was which is such a flaw in our process that it baffles me and sadly even I do it too. When you hear of a woman being raped for example, you want details on the woman. What was she doing in that place? What was she wearing? Who was she with? Why didn’t she see it coming? I am not going to go into why we hold women as paragons of virtue and when their male counterpart fails in some moral test its the women in his life that are accountable but that needs some deconstructing.

A friend once told me that she felt she was being raped when her boyfriend and her had sex and I told her, there is no way you can say that and keep sleeping with him (and I thought no way he can keep wanting to sleep with you unless he is a psychopath). I don’t know if he was a psychopath but I found it very curious how easily this friend was able to tag the label of “rapist” on her boyfriend and yet keep going through the same motions. There is of course a difference between sex you don’t want because you aren’t really in the mood and doing it because you feel like you have no other option. That is what rape is, removal of options and power, whether you have done that by holding a gun or by whispering a threat both of you know could be carried out.

This is just a short post because I don’t want to dwell too long on negatives but we cannot support ideals that should die. Violence is glorified enough, physical violations of someone else’s body should not be tolerated under any circumstance and we need to kill the seeds of this thought. Again if you can show why my absolute is off centre then by all means, speak you piece. I’ll listen, we can talk.



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